January has me caught in a tug-a-war of desires. Part of me wants to curl up in a big arm chair in a shadowy corner of the living room with a blanket, candle, tea, and a good book and not move until spring. The other part of me can’t sit still. I’m full of that unique sense of urgency that crashes into you when the clock strikes twelve and ushers in the new year.

I’m just a few shorts weeks away from turning 30, and I feel like the ticking hands echoing from my oven’s clock have gotten louder and louder. I don’t mind turning 30, I’ve heard great things about this new chapter. But I can’t shake the feeling of “I should’ve done more” or “I’m not where I was supposed to be”.

I know, I know - “it’s not true” and/or “I’m right where I’m supposed to be” - blah blah blah. It obviously comes from the toxic temptation of comparing myself to others and the misguided expectations young Caroline had - but no matter how cliche it is, I can’t keep those thoughts from wandering through my mind.

My career is still a far cry from a “career”. We are years away from being able to buy a house. Our finances are a fragile rollercoaster we’re terrible at navigating. I love Portland (truely, deeply), but I still don’t feel settled. We’ve definitely made friends, but we haven’t found a collected community of people, so it can be lonely.

Those are some of the worries that are definitely fueling my moderately intense “I-GOTTA-GET-SHIT-DONE” energy right now. While I don’t love how the insecurity makes me feel, I do like that it’s getting positively recycled into motivation. I promise it's not a fear-based motivation, it’s just knowing I have the power to take action, so I’m going to. Change can only come from action.

All of those weighty thoughts won’t be cured overnight, but I can own where I am and gladly roll up my sleeves to start putting in the work.

Part of that “work”, has greatly centered on being consistent and more regular about posting content in here! Soooo, without further ado, here’s another recipe to warm you up and fill you up!

Cabbage is an underrated vegetable. Whenever I think of cabbage, I always think about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and how his poor pitiful family was living off of cabbage soup (that was really just cabbage and water… gross). The reality is, cabbage is a spectacular veggie that could easily steal the show if he were prepared properly!

This recipe may look complicated because there’s 3 elements to prepare BUT!!!!!!! BUT BUT BUT - it’s not. Yes you’re making fried shallots, and yesssss, you’re going to make a horseradish cream sauce - BUT, you have more than enough time to do both of those while the cabbage roasts! So all in all, this delightful recipe only takes 35 to 40 minutes to make, and I promise that it’ll impress whoever you’re serving it to!

The edges of each cabbage wedge get perfectly crisp and charred, while the inside becomes tender and silky. Then it’s drenched in decadent sauce that’s creamy with that spicy bite of horseradish, and topped with caramely whisps of fried shallot with a bright lemon twist in it’s oil. Oh, and there’s bacon. B-A-C-O-N. What more could you want?!

Roasted Cabbage with Horseradish Cream Sauce

Serves 4 to 6

Ingredients:

Cabbage:

1 head green OR purple cabbage, cut into 6 wedges

Olive oil

4 tablespoons butter

Salt

Freshly ground pepper

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

6 strips bacon, cooked (crispy or chewy - your preference) and chopped

Fried Lemony Shallots:

¼ cup olive oil

1 large shallot, thinly sliced

1 lemon, zested

Horseradish Cream Sauce:

1 cup heavy cream

1/3 cup sour cream

3 tablespoons freshly grated horseradish

1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

On a rimmed baking sheet, or baking dish, place wedges of cabbage. Drizzle olive oil over the cabbage and make sure all sides are saturated.

Cut butter into smaller cubes, and evenly distribute among wedges. Season with salt and pepper and nutmeg. Place in oven to roast.

Roast cabbage for 35 to 40 minutes (or until fork tender) and flip cabbage halfway through so both sides get nice and crispy.

While cabbage roasts, prepare the shallots and horseradish cream sauce.

I like to start with shallots - heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Once oil begins to shimmer, add in shallots. Cook until shallots become golden and crispy - about 4 minutes. Then remove from heat, transfer to a bowl, and stir in lemon zest.

Now, for the horseradish cream sauce: heat all ingredients for the horseradish cream sauce (heavy cream through pepper) over medium low heat, whisking as it cooks. You don’t want it to boil, just get nice and hot all the way through - about 8 minutes. Then remove from heat and set aside.

Once cabbage is done, serve with a generous amount of horseradish cream sauce, a spoonful of the fried shallots, and all that glorious bacon!